After the webcast leading to this week my focus was on scheduling my silent retreat we had been strongly recommended to put ourselves through. The Meditation Retreat Center I had spent a few weekends previously was just reopening for night stay as the month of March was starting. And here I was, a few days after, set for a 3 night stay in the middle of the woods about 20 miles away from Nevada city, California!
I was so looking forward to the experience that I started to prepare my trip immediately (buying/cooking/selecting my food items – getting ready the necessary items) what was unusual for me who has always packed at the last minute in the past, disliking the process. A life improvement I could already notice and for sure greatly appreciate as this trip prep was not triggering usual negative emotions of frustration/overwhelmed.
As another benefit from looking forward to this event coming up at the end of the week I realized I was wasting less time, I was more focused, organizing my days more effectively. I can say this concept of the carrot and the stick never had any impact on me before at the level I just pointed out so I never used it as a motivational tool; but for the first time I lived the value of reward planning what was an unexpected but very enjoyable side outcome of this experience! From now I am going to incorporate this strategy!
As far as the experience itself, retrospectively I believe it didn’t get as profound as it could have been because even if I only restricted myself to simple minimal tasks during these 3 nights/2 full days (a little reading and writing, preparing simple meals and eating, hiking, meditating, sleeping…) because I already do and enjoy doing things alone and on my own in life, this setting was mostly a relaxing time. I know now I needed to really do nothing at all! However I still was able to observe and come to some constructive realizations: I first was able to distinguish 2 entities in myself: the one who lives a human being life in the physical world and wants to experience and live the most amazing things in life that is actually mostly Ego driven; and the one who lives a spiritual life who has and is enough, who is happy and content with having nothing but the minimal survival needs covered and feels excited by all that can be created from this place of pure potentiality!
Driving back for 2 hours on Monday morning rushing to make it on time to my first client, I felt thrown back into a chaotic physical world way too fast, not looking forward to going back to it that quickly (even if I adore my clients, they make my days!). And my entire Monday felt rushed, busy, overwhelming, I really felt “off”, for lack of a better word, the rest of the week.
This place, space I found within myself during my time away -my world within, spiritually driven- is a world I want to nurture, cultivate and nourish again and again. It is for me where everything is nothing and where nothing is everything, where there are infinite possibilities. Understanding and not letting my Ego control me is a way to access this place in the physical world I live in.