This blog could also be titled: Perfect alignment of events leading to the magical moment called the Abyss of my Hero’s Journey!! Events I’m going to detail one by one to you in this blog.
Chronologically I must start with an event that took place at the very beginning of the course, when my old story got reactivated -although I thought I had overcome it as it hadn’t come up for quite some time as it strongly came up that day- as a effect of an involuntary behavior directed towards me within my tribe. As a result I went back to my very old self, being shut down, uncomfortable feeling stupid and invisible in the following tribe meetings. Weeks later I got some closure in regards to the initial situation through a conversation. However I still had the emotional stigmas persisting when in the same zoom meeting with my tribe where I felt like an outsider, not connecting to my tribe as a result of my old story being back. I still showed up to the meetings, thanks to my ego who won’t let me quit but empowers me to face challenges, except that I only talked when called to, with discomfort running inside my body and no ease of speech because of my old story keeping me feeling “stupid” therefore being almost unable to use my mind.
During xmas time I started to drift off from my 3 readings a day, loosing little by little the excitement these readings fulfilled to go after my future self and life I know I am called for -I was then in the state of refusing the Call to Adventure in the Hero’s Journey-.
Then on week 15 we started on the Franklin Makeover (see blog Week 16). I chose Decisiveness as my first virtue to focus on to help me get out of this semi-victim state I was in using the law: whatever I focus on, grows. Being a coach and trainer, and a mom, I naturally embody this persona that is decisive, so I was in search to witness other types of situation. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to encounter or maybe simply didn’t have enough focus to see situations that gave me aha moments regarding Decisiveness I could learn from but just “normal” situations.
Also on week 16 the entire 2020 MKE members focused on the virtue Kindness. During our Sunday tribe call, I decided to speak up (see my previous blog Week 16) and this is where another decisive situation happened: one of the words I used (“humble”) to describe my experience regarding the Kindness week brought up some unexpected neither non intended reactions within the group that left me heavy after the call and during the whole week because I hadn’t found the words to speak up feeling speechless when it happened. My mind and heart couldn’t stop ruminating about what happened, trying to find peace, searching for some kind of resolution for the best of everyone. I only knew one thing: I couldn’t keep it to myself and pretend nothing happened if I wanted to grow and destroy that big piece of cement that imprisoned me since I can remember. On top of that, this was the week I had chosen Courage as the virtue to focus on -another element perfectly aligned-, so I had to bring up my struggle to our next tribe call –Threshold in the Hero’s Journey-. I didn’t know how then but the old Christelle was again questioning how she would look like, what would people think of her if she brought it up, and uncertainty and fear kept me company till Saturday night (the night before the call) when the next decisive elements came along.
Although I had the whole day to accomplish the inner deep work I had planned to do to reflect and find answers, my Saturday turned out to be unproductive, feeling annoyed at anything and everything (back to my old self) and down. I know this type of meltdown always ends up by a call to action and indeed at night I eventually sat down in front of my computer wanting to tweak something in my DMP. I knew something was off when I was reading it, it was not speaking to my soul, hitting the spot. The part of my DMP I was still not happy with was about my sacrifice, what I had to let go of to get what I wanted. So then I started to reflect on what went through my mind during the week, what were my pain and struggle about, in regards to, why?? Then began the Transformation in my Hero’s Journey: I rewrote my sacrifice as “…I let go of my Need of being seen as a good person and of being loved by everyone. Instead I have the courage to show my true self and speak up!”. This impossible expectation of myself, that what has always hurt me, tortured me, paralyzed me, and made me feel stupid and never good enough! That’s what I had to let go to find myself again, let my authentic self take back the reins!!
Thanks to modifying this part of my DMP I was left with a feeling of peace, lightness and a some joy. I then turned on Facebook (something I rarely do but once again it brought to me other perfect elements of my transformation as Helpers in the Hero’s Journey ), and scrolling through posts I came across this quote from Martin Luther King Jr. “To be great, you have to be mocked, hated, and misunderstood. Stay strong”, and some inspiring videos of beautiful human souls overcoming adversities and coming out victorious! WOW, that was exactly what I needed to hear, sending me another confirmation of what I had to sacrifice to let my greatness shine!
Then Sunday morning came. After a very restful night of sleep, I was feeling at peace and clear with what I wanted to do and say to my tribe because it was coming from a place of authenticity, love, growth and harmonization. There was still however a part of me that was afraid of how I would be welcomed but my mind and heart didn’t want any other choice. It was an ideal opportunity to break my own chains considering it was within my mastermind alliance with like minded people and therefore a safe place where people would listen to me, understand me. And when the time for the tribe call came, I eventually jumped in and spoke my truth, my heart beating hard, but words coming out easily with no thoughts judging myself anymore; as I had accepted the call and had the courage to jump into the unknown, my old self was dying revealing the authentic Christelle while I was speaking (Abyss part of the Hero’s Journey). My teammates were so receptive, hearing me, being the mirror of what I was giving them: love, compassion, vulnerability and authenticity. They were really amazing, my other Helpers! 🙂 They helped me break my chains!!
And then the last event took place, the last removal of cement, again perfectly timed: our Sunday webinar, about the Hero’s Journey, what put all the pieces of what I had just been through together. We discovered the very inspiring story of Aimee Mullins who turned her “handicap” like society would define it to her X Factor https://www.ted.com/talks/aimee_mullins_my_12_pairs_of_legs?language=en#t-4012. If you read Scoll IV in The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQUCborAw88, Aimee embodies this chapter almost word for word! She personifies being “nature’s greatest miracle”, she is “proclaiming her uniqueness to the world”. she “capitalizes on her difference for it is an asset to be promoted to the fullest”, she “places her uniqueness on display in the market place”, she is “a unique creature of nature”, is “rare, and there is value in rarity”, and more. In her case, the saying “When you look at things differently the things you look at change” applies to prosthetics.
Then, still withing the webinar, Mark (Mentor in the Hero’s Journey): what he said resonated so profoundly with my struggles, telling me everything I needed to hear, again perfect synchronicity! One sentence after another, destroying so many things I blamed myself for being the “wrong” piece of the equation! What a powerful and freeing moment, felt like the finale of the most amazing fireworks!(I’ll detail in my next blog).
Everything timely aligned for this breakthrough to happen today. Things really happen for a reason, and with awareness, persistence and trust we realize challenges and hardships are actually wrapped gifts. Like Og in Scroll IV writes: “… and now I know a great secret of life for I perceive, at last, that all my problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise”. If all these events hadn’t taken place one after another, starting by my old story being reactivated, if I hadn’t persisted, if I hadn’t trusted the process, if I hadn’t had the support that I had and if I hadn’t had this life changing MKE course to give me the tools, I wouldn’t have had this pivotal moment today and answered the call. Now the Adventure begins! 🙂