This new week started like always with our Sunday webcast, well not as easily for me this time! First as I was not home yet, I started listening to it from my phone driving (yes I use Bluetooth 😉). Easy you would think, right? Well it all started then…
……<suspense dramatic music>……😶
First the sound coming from my phone of the webcast was so horrible, so static I couldn’t understand anything but a few words once in a while. I checked my phone, car speakers everything was working! Arrived home, I jumped on my laptop, turned it on, opened google, logged on to my email account, found my registration email, clicked on the link, waited for the app to finally open the webcast screen …. then finally it was here on my screen!! Yay!! …. but wait ….this time there was NO SOUND!!!! AHHHH 🤪although I could still hear the static voice coming from my phone …. and now what?! … I did a sound check, the site “told” me my speaker is not connected… hmmm… It is a laptop, everything is included, built-in, I use my speakers everyday and I checked the app settings! Okay… so now I needed to be more creative… I stopped the webcast on my phone and re-logged again and again … 😤 still static! Do you know how annoying this static sound is while people talk?? GRRR 😡…. Let’s try something else, I changed my laptop location, closer to the router, who knows right? …. Guess, still no sound, and I can still see things happening on my screen, it is going for everyone BUT ME 😖 !! Okay (I think to myself), what did you learn? Hmm… persistence? ✅ check. Self control? Hmm not really in control of Self-Control at the moment 😝… Scroll #6, “I am master of my emotions”? Well, neither at the moment… hmm … okay I got something! With the law of substitution i can turn this around 😀! So let’s substitute “frustration” “irritation” by kindness and love (to my devices and to myself), self control and non-judgmental attitude and BE the OBSERVER🧐! Well during my multiple tentatives -stopping the webcast / re-logging in trying to get the sound going on my laptop-, I caught one word within the static …. “defenselessness” …. and then breakdown, taken by the emotion this word created in my Self 🥺… I’ve lived since my early adult life being strong, independent, self-reliant, and to be this way I only knew defensiveness to move forward in life …. and now I had to give up this foundation? I actually had realized for quite some years this mechanism had served me well in many ways and got me to where I was now, but it was deserving me more than it was serving me now and for a while … wow that was my shift right there, my chance to turn a big page, removing a thick coating from my old blueprint! So I let go, and without a conscious thought I turned on my smiley face portable speaker (that’s how it looks like: 😜) I use with my phone and BAM! Sound came out clear from the speaker, no static anymore!! Then I re-logged on my laptop and BAM again, I had the picture AND the sound, both devices now working with no effort!!! What else can I say besides that I believed that’s how things were supposed to happen, I’ll watch the replay!
When I finally got to the replay on Wednesday (after failing, wasting time on non significant things instead) , I hear “it takes far less energy to succeed than it does to fail”, well apparently I had a live demonstration with my experience while it was brought up to us on the webcast! Once my internal energy shifted from frustration to let go and defenselessness, things happened on my favor, with really no effort put into! Also like when I was getting one blog behind, then 2, then just got to 3… I was filled with so much guilt, worry, and as a result stress that I felt very overwhelmed with and because of everything else I was doing that was not part of my goals and priorities! It is so much easier to get things done on time, when they come up instead of being burdened dragging feelings like guilt, worry, unworthiness feeling, stress …
All the laws of least effort brought up to us this week (Acceptation Responsability and Defenselessness) represent a mental state/a way of being I know is what I aspire deeply to reach… giving love instead of defending or judging. I feel and witness how easily I’m triggered again, not like before the program because I catch myself and correct my emotions but I am again guided by my ego since I have lost some of my momentum with the daily tasks …
Lastly I decided to have my silent retreat day at home last weekend, I thought I could do it … big mistake, I kept doing things in and around the house; they were right under my noise and I couldn’t ignore them! I stayed silent though, just not with no distractive thoughts nor activities … I’ll go away soon, I can’t wait to go through it and report here!
Stay tune 🙂
2 Essential Health 