At the time I’m writing this blog we are actually on week 3 of the Franklin makeover… Week 2 that featured the virtue Kindness removed a lot of my old cement and it took me two weeks total (instead of one intended) to work my way through…. The Franklin makeover consists in noticing in others and ourselves (we are able to see it because it is already in us) a specific virtue during a full week in order to develop exponentially this virtue in ourselves based one of the 7 laws of the mind: the Law of Growth “Whatever we think about grows. What we forget atrophies”.
First day(s) of the exercise focusing on Kindness, I shared with Carmel -my amazing Master Mind partner- my challenges around this virtue, my questioning/ ponder/ wonder/ struggle … My first awareness regarding Kindness was that everyone around me was very kind (to me), then that I was not necessarily acknowledging it (directly to them) and also to a certain degree taking it for granted. I believed it came from that for me it is the “normality” to be kind, the way everyone is and should be towards others -was saying my old blueprint-. As far as what was asked to us to get out of this exercise I first had a difficult time extracting and observing many kindnesses from my daily life; first because of having to change and direct my focus on it, second because I thought my threshold was just high (based on my “normality” level). Then when I was able to increase my level of awareness, I was facing a second barrier: my upbringing regarding being humble and not “boasting” about the goodness I/someone “should” do, was making it challenging for me to share with the MKE group in the Alliance section, writing down acts of kindness I observed or did. Thus during this first week on kindness I was going through a constant internal fight trying to see through my mental bi-focals!
Then, another facet of my old blue-print came up: Fairness. This virtue can be very positive when it eliminates any injustice, differences between things/people. But now I’m going to walk you through my realization of its unworkability in my flow of “Giving and Receiving” (kindness) … When I am given what I call “too much” kindness when for example I didn’t ask for anything/any help or for that much of something/help, then first I can’t receive “it”… Because what comes in play here is GUILT: brought up by me simply not being able to genuinely give back what I received -I have to be fair, cents per cents!-, and when I didn’t ask for anything or as much Kindness feels like being forced on me!… then second, when repeated enough, I become numb to more acts of not requested kindness to stop the feeling of constant guilt, what turns into a non appreciative state where the flow of Giving and Receiving is totally interrupted…And all of this is happening because I MUST give back to be fair, but I didn’t ask for it, so it is not fair to me to have to give, and it is not fair if I don’t… blah blah blah … wow this is so exhausting!!!
What this is actually all revealing to me is that I MUST let go of that need for fairness!! Or should I say let go of “fear-ness”? Yes, fear of not having and being enough! My breakthrough after this realization is in giving without expectation of reciprocity neither fear, and let the flow take me!!!
Wow, I feel so much lighter with this heavy layer of cement off me! 🙂 And if you want to know about the second week on this path of discovery that revealed even more, go to my Week 17 blog!