This week started differently … my DMP was returned to me leaving me puzzled … I was then determined to create and send as quickly as possible a corrected version that would “fit the criteria” …. I was following the rules like a good student that I have always tried to be all my life … and I of course reached my goal, I have been well trained for that!
BUT, there is a big issue with that here … this is not school, this is real life … I MUST put myself on the line and make it personal, deeply, the deepest possible to succeed this time… to create the life I’ve wanted for myself and the world for many years… Making it personal means not hiding, neither pretending nor censuring, but getting everything out… my wildest, craziest, most extravagant, scariest, most secret dreams and desires for myself! Letting go of any shame, fear, guilt …
Since I had been reading my DMP three times a day like required, even putting enthusiasm, I had never vibrated, felt my words resonate with my soul… no emotion were felt… That’s what happens when we are trained to perform, for results and grades … we live in our head with a complete disconnection with the emotional body, especially when there’s fear involved … we are trained to ignore it instead of acknowledging it and accepting it for what it is … a creation of the mind of what “COULD” happen! And even worse most of the time… a creation that has been communicated, transmitted, inoculated to us!
So I was stuck, imprisoned in my own head, trying to find a way out to express what my gut had been holding on … all my life? I had quite some resistance… for two days I didn’t touch my DMP till, during a group call the coach helping us with questions on our DMPs simply asked me: “what do you have to loose?” to what I said: “This is my life!! I don’t want to fail again and be disappointed if I’m not good enough to make it happen!”. “Are you going to loose a limb or your life if you do?” he said to me … and I realized indeed, they are just words, on a piece of water, nothing to be fearful about!
Then the same night, I sat down in front of my DMP… starting deleting the first paragraph… completely changing the sentences … it felt so good and so natural … I was starting to live my DMP! Finding each time better words, the ones that make me click, vibrate!!
The next day I sat down again, between clients … same fluid feeling of speaking the truth, and most importantly MY truth! To the point that at the end of my client’s session that followed this second time rewriting my DMP, as a meditative music with flute was playing… I felt the most wonderfully amazing body bliss sensation… simple, perfect happiness!!! ……………………………………………………………………………………………
Everything has prepared me for this journey, all pieces falling into place, my life is happening purposely, I witness it now…. I let my light shine out today that’s why I was able to reach for a moment my Golden Buddha … Being of Light … (Thank you Derek, Stephana, Joel for your guidance…)
I won’t stop till she is completely out, showing all of her light to the world!